Volume 1, Chapter 38: It’s Going to Swell, Stop It

"Zhaozhao!"

At the sound of this pet name, both Xie Mingyue and Qi Jinshan stiffened.

The furrow between her brows eased, only to be replaced by a sudden, uncontrollable burst of tears. "Who gave you permission to call me that? You are not allowed to."

It was a name reserved only for those closest to her in the Xie family. In the past, he had used it occasionally, and she had let it slide. But not today. How could he dare use that name after slandering her so heartlessly?

Xie Mingyue struggled in his embrace, her tears falling like rain. "Qi Jinshan, you are truly the most hateful person in this world!"

She had truly been a fool to trust him. What had all her internal justifications over these past few days even amounted to?

Pale-faced, Xie Mingyue looked at Qi Jinshan’s face and suddenly reached out, striking him across the cheek with a slap that was neither too light nor too heavy. The force was not great, but with a courtyard full of servants watching, it was deeply insulting. To strike a third-rank official was a crime punishable by imprisonment in the Celestial Dungeon. Who would dare?

"Zhaozhao, don't cry."

A flicker of panic crossed Qi Jinshan’s eyes. He gripped her waist firmly and quickly carried her inside the house. As soon as the door closed, he pulled her into a tight embrace. "Don't cry, Zhaozhao."

Qi Jinshan’s slightly stifled voice silenced her sobbing. She looked at him through tear-blurred eyes, the warmth in her gaze fading bit by bit.

"Don't cry." He held her hand, his tone laced with a hint of pleading. Having seen her laughing and clinging to him before, how could he bear to see her return to that cold, icy indifference?

Qi Jinshan lifted her onto the table, looking up at her as if gazing at a bright moon. He let out a long breath, unable to contain the turbulent emotions churning within him. He had suppressed them for too long, and the backlash was fierce.

"What are you doing, My Lord?"

Xie Mingyue looked down at him. That handsome face had captivated half her heart the moment she woke up, and their intense, entangled past had ensnared the other half. The mix of familiar and alien emotions in her eyes was clearly reflected in his gaze.

"Qi Jinshan," she said softly, "it was you who personally saved me from Xie Wanqing and Qi Xiuyu."

Qi Jinshan trembled slightly, his hands clenching into fists.

Xie Mingyue’s lips quivered. "Why can you not believe that I never had feelings for Qi Xiuyu in my heart? At the family banquet, I cast aside all decorum to say so much, but you didn't listen to a single word, did you?"

She jumped down from the table, a sharp, piercing pain shooting through her ankle. She felt nothing. "Being your wife is a joy—I was wrong to say otherwise."

"Stop," Qi Jinshan said, his brows knitted tightly. He gripped her hands, but he could not stop her fingertips from feeling like ice.

"Being your wife is truly a miserable thing." After saying this, she hurried to push open the door. "Qi Jinshan, I want a divorce."

If she did not leave, all that awaited her was another decade of withering away.

Qi Jinshan’s pupils contracted. He pulled her back into his arms, his voice cold and sharp. "No!"

He slammed the door shut, looked at her red-rimmed eyes, and suddenly pushed her back against the soft couch in the room, looming over her with an overbearing presence. "Zhaozhao, I..."

Xie Mingyue looked at him, her icy mask cracking to reveal a trace of tears. After all, she was not truly twenty-six years old in spirit; she could not hold back her grievances. Seeing this, Qi Jinshan took a deep breath and held her down.

"I was wrong. I shouldn't have done that." His eyes, usually bottomless and unreadable, were now rippling with immense regret. "I..." A bitterness stuck in his throat, and he slowed his breathing before speaking again. "Zhaozhao, I cannot control myself."

Xie Mingyue’s expression froze, and she bit her lip as she looked at him. She knew his pride better than anyone; for him to voluntarily reveal his own weakness was nearly impossible.

Seeing her remain silent, he continued, "When I was a child, I raised a chicken that laid an egg. I was overjoyed. Every day, from dawn to dusk, even in the spare moments between my studies, I would run home to touch it, to take a look at it."

His handsome features were filled with a shattered emotion. "The more I cherished it, the more I feared losing it. In the end, I touched that egg until it died, yet I never learned my lesson."

Xie Mingyue’s gaze shifted; she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Was he saying he loved her so much that he couldn't stop himself from going mad? And what about her? Was she destined to be humiliated and suspected?

She turned her head away, muttering vaguely, "If you're sick, go see an imperial physician. I can't cure you."

Qi Jinshan wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes. "Zhaozhao, you are my medicine."

Xie Mingyue gritted her teeth. "Don't try that with me." She had fully realized the truth of her mother’s words: if you pity a man, you’ll be miserable for a lifetime. No matter how much he pleaded, she wouldn't believe him. Suspicion was suspicion; humiliation was humiliation. Even if a madman killed someone, the person was still dead.

Qi Jinshan sighed. The fragility in his expression vanished in an instant, returning to his usual composed and profound demeanor. He took her wrists and raised them above her head, pinning them to the armrest of the couch.

Xie Mingyue was forced into a shameful position and became anxious. "Qi Jinshan, what are you doing? Let me go!"

"I am sick. I need my medicine."

Qi Jinshan didn't stop talking; he rose and then leaned back down, quickly stifling her struggles with his lips. She had never seen anyone so shameless. She pushed at him, but he acted as if he had shed a mask, becoming completely uninhibited.

"It’s going to swell, stop..." Xie Mingyue cried out through the gaps in her breathing. She still had to face people; he might be shameless, but she could not afford to be.

"Do you still want a divorce?" Qi Jinshan finally drew back, hovering over her, his dark eyes fixed on her.

Xie Mingyue shook her head. No matter what she really thought, she had to agree with him now. She wasn't foolish enough to fight him. To her surprise, he didn't let her go but leaned in again.

"Let me go!" Xie Mingyue reached her limit. It was broad daylight, and there were servants outside—he had carried her in here just like that.

Qi Jinshan pressed down on her heavily. "Beg me," he said, as if a shackle had been broken, a flicker of light appearing in his eyes. "Call me husband."

Xie Mingyue frowned in disbelief. Was he bowing to her? No, he had simply broken his own chains. She struck his shoulder hard. "Qi Jinshan, keep dreaming!"

Qi Jinshan let out a muffled laugh, burying his face in the side of her cheek, his body shaking with suppressed mirth.

"Wife," he said, stroking her face, his expression suddenly turning much gentler. "I'm sorry."

Xie Mingyue froze, looking into his deep, dark eyes. Her heart hammered against her ribs.

"It will never happen again." He stroked the corners of her reddened eyes. Her skin was too delicate; just a little weeping had left a mark there. It felt like a knife slicing through his own heart, causing him sharp pain.

"I will come to your courtyard tonight, alright?"