Chapter Fifty-Five: Awakening as Expected

Four days later, Zhongli Yu finally awakened. The moment he opened his eyes, he glanced around and saw the woman in white lying quietly beside him. Just as months ago, when he was injured and lingering in the Valley of Carefree Days, the first thing he saw upon waking in the morning was this woman, lying so serenely, her eyelashes like two delicate fans covering her beautiful eyes. Her face, already small, appeared even more gaunt—she must have suffered much these days. Tenderly, Zhongli Yu stroked her cheek, feeling a pang of pity. Yet the movement startled her awake; her lashes fluttered twice, and her eyes opened, meeting his gentle gaze. Her heart softened instantly.

“You’re awake?” She was not surprised, having known he would awaken today.

“Yes, I’m awake.” His voice was hoarse as he spoke, pulling her tightly into his arms, burying his head deep in the crook of her shoulder.

“Zhong…”

“Hush, don’t speak. Let me hold you properly.” He interrupted her before she could finish, unwilling to question where he was or why she appeared before him—he wanted only to feel her presence, real and tangible.

He held her close, as if wishing to meld her into himself, his arms tightening until Zhan Yan felt pain, though he was oblivious. He had thought he might never hold her again; fortunately, Heaven showed him mercy and allowed him to live. Now, as he embraced her, it still felt almost unreal. Obediently, Zhan Yan nestled into his arms, enduring the pain in silence. This embrace brought her peace and deep longing—he could finally hold her again. The memory of seeing him, bloodied and collapsed atop his horse, then vanishing without a word, still haunted her.

“Yan’er, I can hold you again. It’s wonderful.” After a very long while, he finally spoke softly, releasing his grip slightly.

Zhan Yan nodded earnestly. Though she had learned days ago that he was alive, being held by him now still filled her with excitement and emotion, her eyes growing moist. “Yes, thank goodness you survived,” she choked out.

“Yes, I’m alive. From now on, I’ll always be with you.” Gently, he wiped away the tears that had yet to fall.

“You must keep your word. Don’t tell me about ‘the next life’ anymore. I want only this life—who knows what the next will bring?” Zhan Yan’s heart ached at the thought of the letter he once wrote.

“Where are we now?”

“In Wangcheng.”

“When did Yan’er arrive?”

“The day you collapsed. When I arrived, you lay motionless on your horse, covered in blood.” The memory made Zhan Yan’s face turn pale.

“How did you get here so quickly? Why didn’t you take better care of yourself? What if you’d worn yourself out?” Seeing her now so thin, he felt nothing but pain for her.

“I was worried about you, so I asked Grandpa Meng for the Great Revitalizing Pill and rushed here.”

“You gave me the Great Revitalizing Pill?” Zhongli Yu spoke in disbelief; this little woman truly had skill, to obtain even that for him.

“Yes, you couldn’t swallow anything at the time, and I had to… in front of tens of thousands…” Thinking of how she had to feed him medicine mouth-to-mouth before such a crowd, Zhan Yan blushed. The urgency then left her no time for embarrassment, but now, recalling the moment, she felt shy.

“And what did it cause you?” Zhongli Yu chuckled tenderly. He was clever, and from her blush, he could guess what had happened.

“It caused me… uh, nothing.” Zhan Yan could not bring herself to say more, burying her head in his chest.

“Heh, it made you kiss me in front of tens of thousands, didn’t it?” Zhongli Yu laughed quietly, unwilling to let the matter go. His mood was bright, and laughter lingered on his lips—it had been so long since he’d felt such happiness.

“Nonsense, it wasn’t a kiss, it was feeding…” Zhan Yan protested, lifting her head to retort, but her lips were captured by his. In an instant, all words vanished, her mind blank, her body soft and yielding. She let him take what he wished, as if pouring all longing into that kiss, conveying his deep yearning, entwining her with him in passion that could not be restrained. As the kiss deepened, the room’s temperature rose imperceptibly. His hand slipped beneath her robe, caressing lightly, reaching for her sash—“No.” Zhan Yan awakened, quickly grabbing his hand.

“Why not?” Zhongli Yu, his hand held fast, asked in confusion.

“You’re injured,” Zhan Yan pointed to the bandages wrapped around him.

“It’s nothing,” Zhongli Yu replied carelessly.

“No, what if your wound splits open?” Zhan Yan refused to relent.

“Yan’er, I’m suffering,” Zhongli Yu looked at her with pitiful eyes—able to see but not touch, how tormenting.

“I said no, and that’s final. Get well first.” Zhan Yan held firm, her small hand pressing against his chest, barring him from approaching.

“Yan’er…” He drew out her name softly, like a child begging for sweets.

“Absolutely not, your health comes first.” Though she longed for him, she had to be mindful of his injury—a sword had pierced him through, he must recover properly.

“Ah, well, there’s plenty of time ahead.” Zhongli Yu conceded helplessly, pulling Zhan Yan into his arms and planting a light kiss, not daring to deepen it.

“You knew in advance Yang Qi would order you to end your own life, so you prepared the feigned death potion?” Zhan Yan asked curiously.

“No, I merely hoped for a slim chance. He wanted me dead—either by his own hand or by forcing me to do it myself. If he’d acted himself, I would certainly have died. When he ordered me to end my life, I knew there was hope, so before I acted, I swallowed the Seven-Day Nether Pill. No matter how many he sent to check, none could tell I wasn’t truly dead. This medicine is undetectable to ordinary physicians.” Zhongli Yu shook his head; he hadn’t known from the start he would survive, so he arranged everything, including writing that letter to Zhan Yan.

“What if he’d insisted on killing you himself? Would you really let him?” Zhan Yan’s anger flared.

“Yan’er, I had no choice, did I?” Zhongli Yu looked at her, guilt clouding his eyes.

“…” Zhan Yan lowered her head in sorrow. The thought that he might disappear from the world made her heart tremble; at some point, she realized she could no longer live without this man.

“But fate favored me. Even if he’d killed me himself, I might not have died. My Yan’er managed to bring me the Great Revitalizing Pill—how could the King of Hell dare take me?” Zhongli Yu spoke proudly, trying to draw her away from despair.

“Do you know how terrified I was, seeing you collapsed and covered in blood?” Zhan Yan’s heart ached at the memory. To love someone is to be unable to bear seeing them hurt; the pain is greater than suffering oneself.

“It’s all over now.” Zhongli Yu held her tenderly, understanding the depth of her pain.

“Never leave me alone again, do you hear? You know how frightened I am of loneliness.” Zhan Yan spoke softly, showing her vulnerability without reserve. She had always felt alone since entering this world, never confiding in anyone. Only after meeting him did she realize how wonderful it was to have him by her side—only then did she find a home for her soul. To gain and then lose, that pain surpasses never having possessed; she could not bear it.

“Yan’er, I’m sorry, so sorry.” He held her close, “Never again.” His eyes were full of guilt and remorse, wishing all suffering could fall to him alone.

She lifted her head, gazing at his remorseful expression, her heart aching for him. This man, though surrounded by power and privilege, feared loneliness as much as anyone. He had lost his parents young, burdened with a heavy destiny from birth, and now, nearly lost his life for duty. When, she wondered, would he live for himself? Perhaps, he was the one most in need of tenderness.

“I’m all right now. As long as you’re here, everything is fine.” Zhan Yan held him tightly, her hand caressing his handsome face. All shadows dispersed, leaving only a gentle warmth spreading through the room, flowing softly between their hearts.

—Author’s Note—

I quietly write, quietly update, hoping all who love Lady Leisurely will quietly add to their collections. Thank you to everyone who’s followed the story all this time. Love you all, mwah.