Chapter 21

Pei Yun pursed her vermilion lips, choosing not to dwell on the matter further. After all, thinking would yield no answers. She offered a faint smile. "It has indeed been many years since I last saw Nanny Sheng. Seeing that you are still in such robust health, I can rest easy."

"I am grateful for your concern, my Lady," Nanny Sheng replied. "The Crown Prince has been at the estate these past two days. Upon hearing that my Sixth Young Lady wished to attend the Lantern Festival, he feared it would be unsafe for a young woman to go alone and offered to escort her."

Only then did Pei Yun realize the Crown Prince had gone to his maternal uncle’s residence.

In truth, she had not seen the Crown Prince for three or four days, even though it had been ten days since she first proposed attending the festival. During those ten days, he had visited the Linlang Palace three times, usually around dinner. He would hold Chen'er for a while, perhaps share a meal, but would mostly sit for half an hour before returning to attend to state affairs.

It was no different from her previous life. Pei Yun would greet him and see him off as usual, much like handling a formal duty. Since her "monthly time" had begun on the eighth, she felt lethargic; whenever she was "off duty," she would half-recline on a small couch, showing no concern for the Crown Prince's whereabouts.

She understood that Nanny Sheng had deliberately spoken those words for her to hear, as she remembered that yesterday was the anniversary of Shen Ningjia’s death. The Crown Prince's visit to the Shen household was likely connected to that.

"Cousin was merely passing by," Shen Mingzhao interjected. "He said he had an appointment with you, Sister-in-law, here at this spot, and it just so happened to be on his way to drop me off. Now that you have met, and with Yuefeng Pavilion just ahead, I shall head over myself; there is no need to trouble him further."

Shen Ningzhao curtsied, about to take her leave, when Nanny Sheng interrupted from the side, "Sixth Young Lady, that will not do. Although it looks close, the festival is crowded and bustling with all sorts of people. Who knows what might happen?"

Nanny Sheng's intent was clear. Pei Yun looked toward the Crown Prince, only to find him looking back at her.

Pei Yun smiled with measured grace. "The Nanny is right. My Lord, you should see the Sixth Young Lady to her destination. With Sheng Xi and the other attendants here, there is no need to worry about this side."

The Crown Prince gazed at her for a moment before nodding. "I will take Zhaozhao there and return to find you shortly."

*There is no need to rush.*

Pei Yun murmured to herself, curtsied with a "Yes," and watched the Crown Prince depart. She would have preferred for him to spend more time with Shen Ningzhao, if only to grant herself a longer reprieve.

Seeing the Crown Prince leave, Pei Wei, who had remained silent, stepped forward to hook her arm through Pei Yun’s, her smile returning. Not only did Pei Yun fear Nanny Sheng from the bottom of her heart, but Pei Wei also harbored a deep dislike for the old woman.

Back in Cangzhou, she had witnessed firsthand how ruthless the nanny could be. Just because her sister had slipped away to go horseback riding on the mountain, the nanny had ordered a servant to cane Shuyan, who had tried to defend her sister, thirty times. It was only when her sister wept and begged the nanny to spare Shuyan that the beating finally ceased. Ever since then, her sister had never dared to go out on a whim.

Their mother said that her sister had changed since she entered the capital, but Pei Wei did not think so. Ever since the imperial decree of betrothal arrived—no, perhaps even more so after Nanny Sheng arrived—the smiles on her sister's face had grown increasingly rare.

"Sister, I see people releasing lotus lanterns by the river. Let’s go together."

Pei Yun nodded, but turned her gaze toward Li Jin. Releasing lanterns and making wishes was something young ladies preferred; Jin'er was still a child and more interested in the snacks and games. Though he did not say it aloud, his eyes had already drifted toward a certain stall several times. Pei Yun instructed Sheng Xi to take a few attendants to accompany Jin'er to the other side to watch the acrobatics.

The remaining four of them each bought a lotus lantern. By the riverbank, many women had already gathered, some clasping their hands in devout prayer, others carefully pushing their candles-lit lanterns into the water. The surface of the river, reflecting the starlit sky and the Milky Way, shimmered with light, as if carrying the prayers of those pious souls toward the heavens to reach the gods.

It was Li Shutang’s first time releasing a lantern. She looked around, finding everything novel, and not knowing what to do, she mimicked Pei Wei’s actions from start to finish. Pei Yun found a secluded corner to release her own. She closed her eyes and crouched there for a long time, only opening them when she heard a voice ask, "Sister, what did you wish for?"

"A wish cannot be spoken aloud; if it is, it won't come true," she said with a smile.

Pei Wei, not giving up, pleaded in a coaxing tone, "Just reveal a little bit, Sister. What was it about?"

Pei Yun could not resist her. "It was about our family, and about Jin'er and Chen'er."

Having lived through this once before, she had no other ambitions. All she sought was for those she cared about to be safe, happy, and to lead smooth, untroubled lives. However, upon hearing this, the smile on Pei Wei’s face faded. Seeing this, Pei Yun asked, "What is it?" Had she said something wrong?

Pei Wei looked at her quietly. "Why are all of Sister’s wishes about others? What about yourself?"

Pei Yun was slightly stunned. A faint, bitter smile tugged at her lips. "Sister’s wish... cannot be realized."

"How could it not be?" Pei Wei grabbed her sister’s arm, her voice urgent. "Human effort can achieve anything. Tell me, Sister, perhaps I can help you realize it."

Looking at the sincerity in her sister’s bright eyes, Pei Yun felt a sudden ache in her nose and reached out to stroke Pei Wei’s hair. Such a wonderful sister—how could she have been so cruel in her past life, forcing her to marry into a prominent family for the sake of the clan after their brother died in battle and the Pei family fell, even though she knew Pei Wei’s heart belonged to someone else?

"I appreciate your intentions, Yan'er, but what can I do? Sister’s wish is..."

Li Changye returned from Yuefeng Pavilion in the time it took to finish a cup of tea. After leaving Shen Ningzhao at the entrance of the restaurant, he had barely lingered before turning back to find Pei Yun.

Logically, he should not have been in a hurry. Logically, he had nothing to be anxious about. Yet, for some reason, a faint, subtle sense of unease stirred within him. Perhaps it was because, when they parted a moment ago, he had glanced back to see his Crown Princess smiling as she walked away with her sister. Her smile had been so radiant, as if she cared little about whom he was escorting, or even as if she were perfectly fine without him.

This was an entirely ordinary occurrence. Moreover, Li Changye always thought in the most rational way: Zhaozhao was young, his cousin, and since he had promised to escort her, there was no reason to abandon the task halfway. He assumed the Pei woman must have thought the same.

Li Changye reassured himself that it was merely his overthinking, just like the fluctuations in his mood over these past days caused by the changes in his wife. No matter what, she remained that Pei woman—the dignified, virtuous Crown Princess who treated him with mutual respect and lived a stable life by his side. Nothing had changed.

Chang Lu could not keep up with his pace and was left far behind. Li Changye searched the festival grounds until, at last, he found her by the river.

She was dressed in a lake-blue embroidered long jacket and a lotus-root-colored pleated skirt, crouching there, speaking to her sister with a gentle expression. Li Changye slowed his pace, and his heart settled in an instant. Amidst the bustling crowd, he seemed capable of seeing only her floral-like smile in the dimming lantern light.

She was turned sideways to him and did not notice his presence, but he could clearly see her vermilion lips part and close, even reading what she was saying. They were talking about the wishes they had made. She had spoken of her own. She said her own wish could not be realized.

Watching the bitterness on her face, Li Changye’s brows furrowed. Then, he saw her stroking Pei Wei’s hair with a helpless smile. Though there was no sound, Li Changye felt as if her soft, melodic voice rang clearly in his ears:

"Sister’s wish is... to no longer be this Crown Princess..."