Chapter 23: This Is Simply Too Absurd!

Inside the Jishitang Clinic, an elderly doctor squinted his eyes, pacing around Bai Ruyu while shaking his head incessantly.

Bai Xiuming stood by, stamping his feet in anxiety. "Doctor Liu, what is wrong with Yu-er? Please, say something!"

Madame Jiang stood nearby, clutching little Ya, cold sweat streaming down her face. Er-gou and San-wa pressed their lips together, hardly daring to breathe for fear of disturbing the physician’s diagnosis.

Doctor Liu had treated Bai Ruyu before and knew her well. The child had been born with a mental deficiency and had never been lucid in over a decade. Yet now, her eyes were clear, and in every respect, she seemed perfectly normal. It was just this...

"If you want to know if I'm alright, can you just give me a straight answer? You’ve been circling me so much that if you aren't dizzy, I certainly am." Bai Ruyu rose from the stool, sounding impatient.

Instead of being offended, Doctor Liu became even more excited. "Girl! Would you allow me to study you for a moment?"

Bai Ruyu: ???

[Clear Skies After Rain: How does he want to study you? A craniotomy?]
[Fireworks Everywhere: Seriously, can they even perform brain surgery in this historical era?]
[Sweet Kid: This old man's gaze... it’s a bit terrifying.]
...

Bai Ruyu’s eyelid twitched. She turned to pull her father and mother away, not forgetting to beckon her two silly younger brothers. "Er-gou, San-wa, let’s go. Time to eat."

She hadn't had a single bite since morning. If it weren't for the sight of her parents’ tear-streaked faces, she never would have come to the pharmacy. She would have gone straight to a restaurant for a feast.

"Yu-er, don't be rude! Doctor Liu hasn't finished yet," Bai Xiuming said, his face flushing. Unable to break free from his daughter’s grip, he could only shout.

People generally held physicians in high regard, especially those with noble character like Doctor Liu. Bai Ruyu raised her hand, gesturing, "Father, do I look like there’s anything wrong with me? I told you before, I was just pretending, but you wouldn't believe me."

She glanced back at the glowing-eyed Doctor Liu who was about to give chase, and whispered to Bai Xiuming, "Father, look at Doctor Liu’s expression. Aren't you afraid he’ll take your daughter’s head to study?"

A doctor was respectable, but she had no intention of offering up her own head. Life was tolerable enough for now; she would deal with further complications later.

Bai Xiuming looked back, and as if chased by a ghost, he quickened his pace. "Ah! Let’s run, quickly, let’s go!"

Doctor Liu’s look was too terrifying! It wasn't impossible that he might really do as his daughter feared and take her head for research.

"Hey! Don't be afraid! I just want to take a look! I’ll sew it back on later, sigh..."

Doctor Liu was, after all, quite old. After chasing them for a few steps, seeing them run faster and faster, he could only stand behind and shout at the top of his lungs.

***

As the voice faded, the figures in the distance paused for a second, then vanished into the road like a gust of wind.

[Tiger of the Mountain: Hahahaha, sew it back on for the streamer!]
[Genius Law: Don't run, streamer! He’ll definitely sew it back!]
[Monkey Who Loves Chicken Gizzards: Please, streamer, go back immediately and offer your head.]
...

Bai Ruyu pulled her parents to a stop at a street corner, panting heavily. Seeing the comments on her screen, she said with extreme calm, "Ending the stream. We’ll meet again by fate, provided the streamer’s head is still attached."

[Mianyang Puff: Hahahaha, is the streamer planning to flee?]
[Hardworking Reviewer: Don't end it! What kind of show is this? It feels so real.]

Facing the suddenly black screen, all those patrons of wealth…

"Yu-er, who... who were you talking to?"
"What ‘ending the stream’? What does that mean?"

The two adults and three children around her huddled together, their eyes darting nervously in all directions. Why did everything feel so chilly?

"Uh..."

Bai Ruyu hadn't expected her mouth to act faster than her brain. Looking at the panicked, pale-faced group staring around in confusion, a bold idea suddenly struck her. "Ahem, let me tell you something very important."

Bai Xiuming hugged the frightened Madame Jiang and whispered, "W-what is it?"

Bai Ruyu steadied her expression and said gravely, "The King of Hell wants to inspect the suffering of the mortal world. Every day, he uses me to observe the world along with a host of ghosts and deities for an hour or two. When the time is up and I say ‘end the stream’ or whatever else, the King of Hell withdraws his divine power."

After hearing this, San-wa’s face lost all trace of fear, his eyes shining. "What?! Sister, are you running errands for the King of Hell now?"

Er-gou’s little face was filled with irrepressible excitement. "Sister, can the King of Hell see us too?"

His sister was amazing! The King of Hell was a god! Working for a god! That was much cooler than being a scholar!

"We can see you whenever we are together," Bai Ruyu said cheerfully. She hadn't expected them to be so receptive!

"Yu-er, can your grandfather and grandmother see us too?" Bai Xiuming asked nervously after a long silence.

Bai Ruyu didn't want to disappoint him, so she deliberated before saying, "Father, Grandfather and Grandmother are very busy with official duties. Sometimes they can see us, sometimes they can't."

"Is that so! Being able to see us occasionally is enough," Bai Xiuming lowered his head, his tone heavy. "Unlike me... I’ve never seen them."

Madame Jiang held him, gently patting his back. "Dear, don't be sad. We are all here with you, and we will always stay by your side."

Bai Ruyu wanted to say something, but didn't know how to begin. She wasn't very good at comforting people.

***

[Does the host need portraits of Bai Qingfeng and his wife? The price is reasonable, and we never cheat our customers!]

"How much?" Bai Ruyu’s eyes brightened as she asked internally.

What is a treasure system? This is a treasure system! She apologized for her earlier recklessness; this system wasn't just non-scamming, it was incredibly useful. It really knew how to step up at a critical moment!

[It’s not expensive at all! Just ten thousand, and the premium quality will ensure you feel it’s worth more than the price.]

Bai Ruyu: ...

She wanted to urgently retract everything she had just thought!

"Ten thousand for a painting? May I ask, which grandmaster painted these?" Bai Ruyu couldn't help but fire back in her mind.

[Everything produced by the system is a masterpiece.]

Wow! How could the system even say that with a straight face? Bai Ruyu felt her eyes had been opened once again.

"Your face is truly worthy of a masterpiece; if you used it to pave the Great Wall, Lady Meng Jiang would have to step back in shame."

[The host and 008 are equally matched.]

Bai Ruyu: ???

What kind of piece of junk is this? Was it a professional contrarian before it became a system?

"Five thousand a piece. Take it or leave it."

[Eight thousand at the lowest!]

"Six thousand at most. Will you take it or not? If not, get lost."

[Six thousand is fine, just take it.]

This was simply too absurd! Who would have thought she would one day be haggling with a system? Who would believe it if she told them?!

With a stoic face, Bai Ruyu opened her backpack. A scroll had appeared inside, and she reached out to grasp it from thin air.

Before the astonished eyes of everyone, a scroll half a meter wide appeared in her hand!

"Father, this is what Grandfather and Grandmother asked me to give you."