104 Research My Foot

Standing beside Mjolnir, Joss felt as though tens of thousands of alpacas were galloping through his mind. Although he had been interested in seeing this legendary artifact, he certainly hadn’t intended to do so while being gawked at by a crowd.

Heaven knows why these people worshiped "that guy" to such an extent—no, come to think of it, perhaps it wasn't so strange. After all, he had achieved the highest score in the history of S.H.I.E.L.D. recruit assessments, a record that would likely remain unbroken for the foreseeable future. That same day, as a mere rookie, he had saved a massive number of trainees and instructors, single-handedly holding off an opponent that even Level 9 Agent Black Widow and the Director himself, Nick Fury, couldn't defeat. Not long after officially joining S.H.I.E.L.D., he thwarted a Hydra plot against the Avengers, was invited to join the Avengers Initiative, and before he could even rest for a few days, he wiped out a nest of vampires eyeing humanity with malice.

After accomplishing so many monumental feats, Joss’s gaze had even extended beyond the borders of the United States, reaching the battlefields of Egypt, where he ended a war in an incredibly short span of time. Upon returning to the States, he arrived just as New York City was facing a catastrophe; despite his frame appearing somewhat slight compared to many other superheroes, Joss stood on the front lines and slew the monster capable of destroying the entire city.

It is no exaggeration to say that any one of these events would be enough to earn an ordinary person the title of superhero; yet, unexpectedly, Joss had shouldered them all alone. The parts that weren't fit for public consumption—the moments of awkwardness or cowardice—naturally remained unknown. When these simplified details were filtered through the overactive imaginations of others, Joss was elevated to the status of a saint descended from the heavens. It was truly something else.

However, Joss felt not a shred of excitement at this outcome, only deep embarrassment and annoyance. At this moment, he finally realized that if you aren't the one truly putting on the show, there is no soul in the performance! Worse than that, the way these people were looking at him was far too intense!

"What do you mean the magnetic field near the extraterrestrial object has XX rays and OO magnetic fields causing ABC effects?" Had he ever heard of those? Not once! And what was this about "the spatial coordinates of the extraterrestrial object being immutable, with XX changes and XXXXXXX in the surrounding energy"?

By the end, Joss had given up. These researchers weren't speaking human language at all. At first, he thought the memories in his head might come in handy, but it turned out they were utterly useless. He knew from the comics that the hammer’s power was to release lightning, but the researchers didn't care about that. They wanted to know how the lightning was formed, where the energy came from, and how the object was manipulated. Where was he supposed to find answers to that?

While he suspected the system could provide them, it would undoubtedly cost him points. Since researching this had no real benefit for him, it would be a total waste of money. When it came down to it, Nick Fury had likely sent him here simply to maintain order and prevent any short-sighted thugs from attacking the temporary base; he wasn't sent here to study the hammer. After all, it wasn't his field of expertise. Asking him to study a hammer? What a joke!

The problem was that these researchers treated him as if he were omnipotent, gazing at him with wide, starry eyes, waiting for some profound insight. Looking at those glistening eyes, Joss coughed a few times and decided to be honest: "Look... I’m only here to ensure this hammer isn't stolen. As for the research, please, keep up the hard work yourselves."

"Truly worthy of 'that man.' As expected, such an object isn't even worthy of his time to study!"

"Don't talk nonsense. It’s obvious he just doesn't want to steal the credit from us lowly researchers. He must have understood the internal structure of such a mediocre hammer at a single glance!"

It would have been better if he hadn't said anything. The moment he spoke, those around him began to exclaim in wonder, spinning wild theories that left Joss speechless. Fortunately, no matter how fanatical they were, their professional ethics remained intact. After the initial chaos, they returned to their posts and continued their work.

Though, calling it "work" was generous; most of them just stared at the hammer incessantly. Since it couldn't be moved and the site lacked specialized equipment, they were limited to using portable instruments. Once no one was left to bother him, Joss let out a sigh of relief and began to examine Mjolnir up close.

The Mjolnir before him was indistinguishable from the one in the movies. It had a silver, metallic sheen, with a hammerhead about the size of two fists and a handle that could be gripped with one hand, complete with a leather strap. It had to be said that, at first glance, the thing didn't look particularly impressive—it looked just like the hammers used by the old man who sharpened kitchen knives downstairs at his old apartment, except that it looked like it could easily crack a skull. Beyond that, there was nothing special about it, save for the intricate patterns and the beautiful metallic luster.

Still, the opportunity was rare, and naturally, Joss wanted to see if he could lift it. Looking left and right to ensure he was alone, he reached out a hand toward the thin, slender handle. Truth be told, Joss was quite interested in the authentication mechanism of Mjolnir. In the comics, countless people had lifted it—even that "Big Blue" from the neighboring universe had successfully wielded both hammer and shield in a display of peerless power. Even in the film universe, Captain America had managed to budge it slightly, which had shocked Thor enough to change his expression.

This suggested the hammer wasn't some simple DNA or fingerprint scanner that would lock everyone else out. But if the hammer truly operated on the principle that only those who were righteous, kind, and brave could lift it, as Odin claimed... well, that was one hell of a load of flattery. In his youth, Odin had slaughtered countless people and toppled countless kingdoms; by his own logic, he would be the least qualified to lift it. And what about Hela, the Goddess of Death? She didn't just lift it; she crushed it. Could her character really be considered worthy by the hammer?

"Hmm, at the end of the day, is this thing just a bully that picks on the weak and fears the strong?" Joss rubbed his chin, feeling he had discovered a blind spot. He leaned in, wearing a Katsuya Jonouchi-esque expression, and whispered to the hammer:

"Hey, kid, if you don't let me lift you, do you want to see what happens when I melt you down into a toilet plunger?"