Chapter Forty-Three: Is It Shameful or Not?

He shook me off. “You’ll know soon enough whether I’m a man or not.”

He strode away, his car speeding off into the distance. I stood there, watching the endless stream of traffic, and a sudden fear crept over me.

That night, I had an overwhelming urge to go home. I was afraid of those days in the courtyard, with only Ajiu for company. I was afraid that when I woke up, everything would have changed, nothing would ever be the same.

When I reached the building, a few women out walking with their children pointed at me and whispered. One of them I recognized—she was the wife of one of my father’s colleagues at the Public Security Bureau. She avoided my gaze, hurriedly pulling her child along.

Her child pointed at a car downstairs, saying something, and she covered the child’s mouth and dragged them away.

I glanced at the Porsche Cayenne. There were plenty of wealthy people in this neighborhood; a car like that was nothing unusual.

When I opened the door, my parents were startled, as if I were some uninvited guest. Only when I entered did I notice the real source of their alarm—there was a man sitting in the living room.

Rong Luozheng waved at me, “Lanshan, long time no see.”

I suddenly understood—the Porsche must belong to him.

No wonder people were pointing and whispering. It seemed our family was always making the headlines.

I looked around the living room. I hadn’t been back in a long time, and this place I called home felt utterly unfamiliar.

The expensive gifts scattered about were all clearly from the man before me.

It really was absurd. Even if he and Mu Ying had long since lost their love, after so many years of marriage, she was now disfigured, and yet he couldn’t wait to rush to his new lover’s home to play chess with my father.

Even if he no longer loved her, even if they were enemies, was it necessary to be so eager? Did those years of love mean nothing at all?

Yi Huayang came out of the kitchen with a plate of fruit and greeted me coolly, “You’re back.”

I looked at her. She was the same as ever, devastatingly beautiful. The last time I saw her in the café, there were still faint scars on her face; now, not a trace remained—her skin was as delicate as a baby’s.

She sat down beside Rong Luozheng, picked up a slice of orange and fed it to him. He nibbled her finger, and they exchanged a smile.

I had no doubt—if we weren’t there, the two of them would have been in bed already.

My father came over and, seeing me standing, said, “It’s not often you come home—sit down.”

I took a deep breath, my eyes sweeping over each of their faces. I smiled. “Well, what drama are we performing today? Is this one an old flame or a new love?”

Yi Huayang’s face changed instantly. “Yi Lanshan, don’t push your luck.”

I stared at her coldly. “What right do you have to yell at me? You stole Du Fanchuan from me, but if you weren’t going to cherish him, why did you take him at all? Why did you abandon him? Why did you agree to someone else’s proposal? Yi Huayang, you truly want to be both a whore and a martyr—disgusting.”

She tried to hit me, but I grabbed her hand first. It had been a long time since we’d come to blows; I almost relished the anticipation.

After holding back for months, I’d been dying to give her a beating—whether for myself or for that scumbag Du Fanchuan.

I was strong; she couldn’t break free. She lifted her other hand to strike me, but Rong Luozheng caught it.

I shoved her aside. My father sat there, face dark, while my mother looked about to cry, gazing at me with pleading eyes.

I asked my father, “You just let her cause trouble like this? No wonder everyone in the neighborhood was pointing at me. Aren’t you ashamed?”

My father smoked in silence. Rong Luozheng spoke up, “Lanshan, let me explain—I…”

I shot him a look. “What right do you have to explain? All I know is that a man who proposes to his new lover right after his wife is disfigured is less than an animal.”

He hung his head awkwardly. “Well, Uncle, Auntie, I’ll be going now. I’ll come visit another day.”

He left quickly. Yi Huayang finally exploded, pointing at me. “Yi Lanshan, are you speaking up for yourself or for Du Fanchuan? If you still love him, go to him. I’ll give him back to you. After all, he’s never forgotten you. Even when he was with me, he was always thinking of you…”

She wiped away her tears, grabbed her bag, and rushed out after Rong Luozheng.